ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
