it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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