you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
