You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
be right there i have to get my cape
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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