He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
