Acid is not a monday night drug
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
