You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
