And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
