"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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