He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
