Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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