Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
3 2 1 whiskey
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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