you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
