I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
