it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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