Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
