Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize