ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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