just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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