What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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