New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
and you fell through a lawn chair
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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