Pregnant stripper...not hot.
home. puking in laundry basket.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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