No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
