So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
