yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
