He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
