I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize