A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
