): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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