Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
