I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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