Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
