do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
