Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
