the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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