now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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