You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize