So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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