who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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