Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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