Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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