So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
wow bdsm is so cute
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
