Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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