Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
