This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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