haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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