Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
