It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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