you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
