I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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