people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
