You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
