In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
either way he was missing a nipple.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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