Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
only you would photoshop your dick
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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