New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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