just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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