So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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