you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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