when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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