Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Send help, water and tortillas.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize