I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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