Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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