I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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