perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
